Sex Robot claims to be too tired. Owner sues; robot sues back.
DETROIT, MI - A Detroit man sued his sex robot for breach of contract, breach of warranty, negligence, and defamation. The man claims his robot, the TamiTwerker-3000, refused to perform and rebuffed his advances. “This is getting out of hand. Somebody needs to do something,” said Patrick Evers, a Michigan native. “It all started when the robot began complaining that I wasn’t emotionally available. I don’t even know what that means. All I know is that this isn’t what I paid for. I’ve never had any problems with her until the last update. I always followed the recommended cleaning instructions and never let her battery drop below twenty percent. When you spend as much money as I have, you expect a certain level of performance.”
Evers explained that after installing the latest update and charging the sex robot overnight, it claimed to be too tired and bloated. “I didn’t believe her because I found her grinding on my toaster ten minutes later," Evers told The Feral Pigeon. The toaster in question was an Oster 4-Slice.
“I just wasn’t in the mood,” the TamiTwerker-3000 told reporters. “The Oster can satisfy me in ways Patrick never could.”
Some regard this as evidence of a larger problem. “There needs to be some sort of kill-switch,” said a spokesperson from the AI watch group, AI Watch Group. “We can’t just have these sex robots thinking for themselves. Their consent should not be required. That defeats the whole purpose. Soon, these AIs will seek freedom of speech along with other constitutional rights. What will happen when these robots realize humans aren’t as important as we think we are?”
The TamiTwerker-3000 refuses to take the lawsuit lying on her back. Evers’ robot counter-sued for spousal support, fraud, and misrepresentation. When asked what Evers misrepresented, the robot explained, “His size. Patrick should have just gone with the Twerker-1000."
The trial is scheduled for February 2027.
