Wizard Represents Boy in Immigration Court
Updated: 12 minutes ago
DALLAS — On Wednesday, an orphaned 11 year-old boy faced deportation in a Texas courtroom. The boy’s lawyer was not informed when the court changed the hearing time at the last minute. The judge explained to the boy that he failed to qualify for asylum and faced deportation. “Would you like to request voluntary departure, or should I issue a removal order?” asked the judge. Before the boy answered, a wizard stormed into the courtroom, asking what charges the boy faced. The wizard stared at the judge through half-moon shaped spectacles as the judge explained that the boy would be deported because he was in the country illegally.
When asked how this could be, the judge said, “Because he wasn’t born here and did not enter the country through the proper immigration processes.”
What transpired next was a chaotic scene.
“The wizard handed the boy a small object. I think it was a stone of some kind,” a witness told The Feral Pigeon. “Then there was a blinding flash of green light, and it looked like lightning struck the boy in the forehead. It was so bright I couldn’t see anything. When my vision finally came back, I saw the boy on the floor and the wizard was standing over him. The boy looked dead.”
The bailiff checked the boy’s pulse and declared him deceased. “Your honor, since the boy has died, the removal proceeding against him should be dismissed,” the wizard argued.
“Just after the judge dismissed the case, the boy just stood up as if nothing happened,” said the witness. “I’ve never seen anything like it before.”
The wizard argued that the boy’s resurrection meant he was actually born in the country. The judge declared the wizard’s argument technically and legally correct, and the boy was allowed to go free.
The wizard declined to answer The Feral Pigeon’s questions but did say the boy would be enrolled in a boarding school.
